4 Tips For Dating After Divorce

Even though a divorce can be traumatic, it doesn’t signal the end of your romantic life. In many ways, it clears the path for you to finally find your perfect match. More people than ever are discovering that their divorce is a prelude to identifying what they truly want in a partner and finding it. Today, I’ll give you 4 useful tips for having as much success as possible when you’re dating after divorce.

Tip #1: Start Small

Everybody feels anxious when dating new people. And if you’ve been married for several years, that level of anxiety might be even higher. It’s not uncommon for newly-divorced daters to feel like fish out of water. To ease your nerves about dating again, start small. Meet potential partners for coffee or lunch, and have something scheduled right after the date. That way, you’ll feel less pressure during the date because you have an escape route. If things are going well, reschedule your plans.

Tip #2: Take Your Time

If you’ve been away from the dating world for awhile, you may feel tempted to “catch up” or prove something. A lot of times, people who have recently gone through a divorce will feel as if they need to date fast and furiously. Sometimes, it’s desperation to fill the void left by the divorce. Other times, they need to feel attractive to other people again. Dating lots of partners gives them that feeling.

Take your time. If you approach it like you have a month to live, you’ll sabotage your chances of making a real connection.

Tip #3: Avoid Comparing Partners

After a divorce, it’s natural to compare your dating partners to your ex. But, doing so is unhealthy. Not only does it prevent you from leaving the past in the past, but it also prevents you from seeing your dating partner as an individual with unique qualities. Even worse, you may end up pursuing a relationship with a partner simply because that person is completely different than your ex. If you find yourself making the comparison, stop and clear your head. It’ll take time to retrain your mind, but doing so is important if you want to enjoy your partners.

Tip #4: Open Up

Being vulnerable again can be daunting, whether it’s physical or emotional vulnerability. A lot of divorced daters find that opening up to prospective partners is challenging. And while creating a connection is essential for allowing a relationship to grow, there’s an innate fear of doing so. If you’re dating to find your match, you’ll need to become comfortable with opening up to your partner at some point. But, there’s no need to rush the process. Emotional intimacy builds with time, so open up at a pace that’s consistent with your growing relationship.

Preparing To Enjoy Yourself

Dating after getting divorced is a scary experience that’s filled with uncertainty. But, it’s important to understand that diving back into the dating world doesn’t have to be intimidating. Start small and take your time. When you feel the urge to compare your partners with your ex, stop yourself and regroup mentally. Finally, be open to opening up. Remember, your divorce is a part of your past. Finding your ideal match is still ahead of you.

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