As the song goes, breaking up is hard to do. And the aftermath of the break-up can be even harder. The thoughts that circle your mind hover just long enough for you to question the reasons for breaking up, even when you know they’re valid. Meanwhile, the weight of the loneliness can drive you to look for instant companionship, even if the companion is a poor match for you. Rebound relationships are complex due to the emotional void left from the break-up. Should you date when you’re on the rebound? Below, you’ll discover why waiting may be the best way to reignite your dating life.
A Short Time Alone Is Healthy
Relationships form strong connections and bonds between partners. It’s easy to lose yourself and squander your individuality. After you and your partner split up, you have an opportunity to regain that sense of who you are as a person. The time alone helps you to develop self-reliance, a trait that often disappears when two people spend a lot of time together.
Spending time alone after a break-up also gives you the chance to reconnect with friends and family, and pursue things that are important to you. It’s a great time to devote attention to projects or hobbies that you had placed on the back burner. Most importantly, the time alone provides an opportunity to gain closure about the dissolved relationship so you can leave it in the past.
Avoiding The Problem
Dating while you’re on the rebound can be filled with pitfalls, especially when you haven’t taken the time to think about your past relationship. Every relationship between two people who care about each other leaves an emotional void when it ends. If you start dating while that void is still there, the emotions that rush in to fill it are left unchecked. Before long, they’ll begin spilling into your new relationship. The choices you make, your emotional availability to your new partner, and your ability to heal and gain closure all suffer.
There’s another problem with rushing in when you’re on the rebound. Often, people are unaware of qualities within themselves that may have driven their partner away. This can include personality issues, emotional neediness and dependability, and even substance abuse. Rebound dating prevents you from taking time to look inside yourself. In effect, you never have a chance to determine why the relationship actually ended and what part, if any, you played in its demise.
When You’re Ready To Date Again
Every break-up requires time spent alone to heal emotionally and gain closure. The longer the relationship, the more time that is required. If you rush in and begin dating immediately, you run the risk of never healing or gaining that closure. And though you may think that it won’t impact your new relationship, it will. It always does. Take some time out before dating again. Reflecting on the break-up will help you heal, leave the past in the past, and prepare you to enjoy an emotionally healthy relationship.