It’s natural to feel nervous about a first date. Not only are you anxious about what to do and talk about, but you’re also worried whether your partner will even like you. Relax. Nearly everyone has the same butterflies in their stomach. With a little planning, you can ease your angst and start getting excited about the experience. Here’s a quick blueprint for planning and enjoying a great first date:
Keep It Simple
Assuming that you’re the one planning the date, keep it simple. You don’t need to arrange a lavish dinner and a trip to a “must see” stage production. In fact, that sort of extravagance is more likely to cause anxiety. Instead, plan a simple lunch or another afternoon activity that allows room for conversation. That way, you can get to know each other without any pressure. The simplest first date ideas are often the best.
Share And Listen
Whether from nervousness or narcissism, some people talk about themselves endlessly. That can be a major turnoff on first dates. While it’s important to share things about yourself, it’s equally important to listen. Conversation is the best way for new dating partners to learn about each other. It’s how you’ll discover whether you and your partner have things in common. That being said, avoid talking about past relationships, politics, and other “hot button” issues. If the date leads to a growing relationship, there will be plenty of time for those topics in the future.
Are They Interested?
After spending an hour together, you should have a pretty good idea whether there’s mutual interest between you and your date. If the conversation has flowed well and there’s obvious chemistry, a second date may be in order. Be clear and upfront. Let your date know that you had a great time and you would like to go out again. Then, set up a time to call in the next few days. The anticipation will be exciting for both of you.
There’s plenty of bad advice out there that recommends you make the other person wait for your call. It’s supposed to make you seem in demand. Don’t play such games. It’s disrespectful and is more likely to be a turnoff. Call your date when you promised to call. Not only does it show that you respect and value that person, it builds their trust in you. It shows that they can count on you to follow through on what you say. Assuming that you both enjoyed each other’s company during your first date, the second date is a simple matter of scheduling.
First dates can be thrilling if you can find a way to soothe your nerves. Keep it simple, share things about yourself while listening to your partner, and gauge your mutual interest along the way. Then, follow through and plan the second date. It could be the beginning of a lasting relationship.