All of us have different goals when we’re dating. Your goals may be completely different than somebody else’s. A lot of people fall into the trap of forgetting the reason why they’re dating. It’s easy to do because we’re meeting new people and having fun in getting to know them better. Unfortunately, it can lead to feeling unsatisfied down the road. Today, let’s talk about how to stay true to your dating goals.
What Do You Want?
You may be dating to have fun, looking for a lifelong partner, or something in between. Your goals will largely dictate what you’re looking for in a partner. For example, if you’re dating several people and you’re not interested in pursuing a serious relationship, your partner’s dislike of children may be immaterial to you. On the other hand, if you’re looking for someone special with whom to potentially start a family, you want your partner to like children (at the very least).
What Do You Need?
Sharing a part of your life with someone means that your needs have to be met. This is true regardless of whether you’re looking toward marriage or pursuing a casual dating relationship. Write down the things you need from your dating partner. Is it important to you that your partner is a good listener? Is it significant that your partner constantly shows affection?
Often, people date without knowing what they need from others. They may have a vague idea in their mind, but it’s jumbled and forgotten. Eventually, when they discover they’re not getting what they need, they feel unfulfilled. Writing your needs down makes them concrete. It gives them form and makes it easier to identify whether your dating partner can fulfill them.
Taking Time Off
It’s common for people to end up perpetuating a cycle in which they move from one partner to another. This usually happens because their dating goals aren’t being met. If you find that your relationships always leave you feeling disappointed, consider taking some time off. You may be caught in a cycle. If you continue going through the motions, it’s unlikely you’ll ever meet your dating goals. Instead, take a break to reevaluate your strategy and make changes where needed.
Communicating Your Dating Goals
A huge number of relationships deteriorate because the partners don’t communicate what they want from the other person. One partner may be looking for a future spouse while the other simply wants to have fun. When both partners assume their goals are consistent without actually discussing them, it sets the stage for failure.
It’s important to communicate what you’re looking for at the beginning of a relationship. While there’s no need to plan your entire life together during the first date, be open to talking about where you hope things will lead. The key is to identify what you want from your partner and what you need in order to feel fulfilled. Once you do, you’ll find yourself moving closer toward realizing your goals.